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New Post 8/3/2008 4:14 AM
  apininme
21 posts
No Ranking


just call me baby 

when reading say it like     all they do      is yell with me

 

all they do is yell at me

flip there hair and flirt with me

she's so hot she's so cute

she so smart she knows it all

the way she dances the way she moves

ryan something i was 17

yelling and cring she wouldn't walk beside me

sound so cold yes i know

she confesses her love from behind

who is she i do not know

baby she say's ooo i liked it i froze

she said it's over it hadn't begone

every ending is a begining they say

yelling and sreaming john thats my name

i'm a retarted as@ HOLE all the same

i like them tall they fit better small

just one i want yes thats all

just one to call mine o so hard to find

with these teeth i couldn't kiss

those soft lips i'm getting them fixxed

in these walls i'll keep on looking

come back when i 23 till then

just call me baby

 
New Post 8/3/2008 7:33 AM
  John
54 posts
No Ranking


Re: just call me baby 

all they do is yell at me

flip there hair and flirt with me

she's so hot she's so cute

she so smart she knows it all..."she's"

the way she dances the way she moves

ryan something i was 17..."I" (line makes no sense)

yelling and cring she wouldn't walk beside me..."crying"

sound so cold yes i know..."I"

she confesses her love from behind

who is she i do not know..."I"

baby she say's ooo i liked it i froze..."says"   "I"   "I"

she said it's over it hadn't begone..."begun"

every ending is a begining they say

yelling and sreaming john thats my name..."John"   "that's"

i'm a retarted as@ HOLE all the same..."I'm"   "retarded"

i like them tall they fit better small..."I"

just one i want yes thats all..."I"   "that's"

just one to call mine o so hard to find..."oh"

with these teeth i couldn't kiss..."I"

those soft lips i'm getting them fixxed..."I'm"   "fixed"

in these walls i'll keep on looking..."I'll"

come back when i 23 till then..."I'm"

just call me baby

"when reading say it like"

If you want people to read your work in a certain way try punctuating it, that's what punctuation is for. Use a spell check and try capitalizing proper nouns. Most readers won't take you seriously as a writer until you start taking yourself seriously. You can't say enough for proofreading. It  is most helpful as is a careful edit of your work. This is a public forum ...put your best foot forward. And by all means see a dentist.

Please accept these words in the spirit with which they are intended...to help you improve.

John

 
New Post 8/3/2008 2:44 PM
  apininme
21 posts
No Ranking


Re: just call me baby 

please don't take me serously. take me with a light heart. it just fun for me.

 
New Post 8/3/2008 4:14 PM
  John
54 posts
No Ranking


Re: just call me baby 

Okie Dokie.

John

 
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