The Addiction

By: Melanie Lee Garrison

I remember when you were first introduced to me. You were very unsure of me and all I wanted was to be a part of your life. You saw how your friends like me, so you decided to give me a chance.

I noticed that you studied me, while your friends dealt with me and you thought I wasn’t all that bad, and you let me into your life.

I remember the first time you tasted me. You made such a funny face, but then you realized that I made you feel real good. I made you as high as the sky and caused you to laugh. But I knew that since this was the first time of you being with me, you might just change your mind about me, and would never want me near you again.

Thanks to your friends, they helped me secure you into my web of lies and deceit by tempting you with a way to forget all of your problems. You were so very easy to trick. Oh yes, you fell for me hook, line and sinker. You couldn’t seem to get enough of me. I left you, so you would come back wanting more.

You sold your soul because of me, and I greedily took it. In fact, I had so much control over you, that you willingly took the food out of your family’s mouth, just to get me again.

I felt great! I had you and there was no turning back. I had burned myself into that puny little brain of yours, and engraved myself into your blood. You could not get enough of me. Having you in my life, cost you everything, because I am greedy, and I wanted it all. When you realized how I was, you couldn’t stop wanting me. Oh you tried to leave me alone, but I wouldn’t let you go. Your need and desire for me ruled you and your common sense.

I made you steal from your family and friends. I made you lie and hurt them deeply, but I didn’t care, and it’s apparent that you didn’t care either, because you kept doing it. I even made you feel good about doing it.

You loved the high I gave you. I watched as you prostituted yourself just to get a part of me. I heard you say every time, this is the last time. I’m going to stop. What a laugh I had about that!

Yes I know that you said that I wouldn’t make you sell yourself, but when you couldn’t get anymore “free” from your friends, and your family would not let you inside their homes, you did what was necessary for you to get me.

Trust me. I know this is the truth. I have sat back and watched you and your friends. And aren’t they the greatest friends I have? Why they just gave you to me on a mirror.

I watched you as you took a part of me and diced me up and made me into lines just so you could have some nose candy. I watched you as you put me in the end of a pen tube and heat me up and smoked my remains. Boy, were you good! I watched you see that snorting me up your nose and smoking me, didn’t make you high anymore, so you decided to liquefy me in a spoon and put me in a syringe and introduced me into your veins. You loved the way I made you feel.

I caused so many things to happen to you, things that you didn’t realize was happening until it was too late. I caused you to look so old that when people saw you they thought you were in your sixties or seventies, and yet you were very young. I caused all your teeth to rot in your mouth, but you wouldn’t go to the dentist because you were in denial about my being a major part of your life, and you didn’t want anyone to know.

 I caused you to lose that healthy look that your parents took so long to give you, and made you look like walking death. Your eyes and hair lost their shine because of me, and you didn’t care. Neither did I.

When you prostituted yourself, you didn’t care who you had to sleep with. You convinced yourself it was justified, just so you could have another part of me. It didn’t matter that you contracted socially transmitted diseases and aides. It was all about me. I was all you cared about. Yes, I was your best friend, and lover. I was your life partner. You would do anything for me. I was so very lucky to have you.

I had your back all of the time. You carried me with you where ever you went. I was the monkey on your back, clinging to your neck, never ever letting go.

Until now.

Now you’re laying on this table in the morgue, with me all inside your body. I was so proud of you. You enjoyed me to death.

An autopsy will be done shortly on you and I know that they will find me, lurking inside your body. They will only find a trace of me because I disappear so quickly.

 I know what they will do to me, it has been done before. They will analyze me, and shake their heads, not understanding our relationship that we had.

They listed my ingredients one by one on their report. They said you died of a drug overdose. This is what they told your parents when they came down to identify you. I heard them ask what I was, they were so very innocent. Little did they realize that they had helped to make me.

I was so simple to make. Many times I watched you as you went from the bathroom medicine cabinet to the kitchen sink to the pantry just to help my maker get what was needed to create me. Allergy pills, muscle ache medicine, rubbing alcohol, peroxide, iodine, battery acid, nail polish remover, drain-o, lye, matches and water.

But I am angry at you for leaving me. You used me so well that you died for me today. But that’s okay. There are others out there who will want me just as much as you did, probably even more. And they, like you, will place me in their veins, injecting me in between their toes, in their arms, between their fingers, inside their thighs, and into their stomachs.

I will make them love me, just as I made you love me. They will be my new best friends. They won’t leave me, like you did, anyway not for a while. They will introduce me to their friends as well, and then I will have new friends too.

I will be friends with doctors, lawyers, judges, and even law enforcement. When I am finished with the adults, I will start on the teenagers, and then, yes, even the children. I will make them think that I care about them, just like I made you think. I will make sure that women who are in their child bearing years, are so wrapped up in me, that when they give birth, I will already be a part of their babies’ lives. I am so very clever to do this.

This is a promise. I was made for this. I enjoy destroying lives and I’m good at it. Look at yourself. I did it to you, and just think, you didn’t do a thing about it.

Friends to the end,

Meth

ã September 2007, Melanie Garrison